Ingredients for 6 people:
- a 10 pound duck
- 10 bottles of Piraat 11.2
- bacon
- olive oil
- pepper and salt
Method:
1. Clean the duck, and rub salt and pepper on the inside.
2. Put the oven on, and pre-heat for about 10 minutes at 400 degrees. Take one bottle of Piraat and pour it in a glass. Drink the glass while you wait for the oven.
3. Put the duck on a wire … fire resistant plate, and pour yourself another glass of Piraat. Drink the Piraat while you put the duck into the oven.
4. Let 20 minutes go by, and then put the oven on 440 degrees. Take two new glasses and open two bottlesses of Pilaat, and fill the glasses.
5. Dlink the two glasses, and clean up the bloken pieces of the first vlass.
6. Pour y’zelff a new glass of Pilatt, and sjekk the hoven after dirty m’nutes.
7. Go to the pathroom to zet burn balm, squeeeeze de tuub, and lub y’r left ant. Give the hoven a kick with your right foot. Get yourself another blass of Pilaaat, and dlink it now.
8. Open the offen, and take the plate with the duck. Do more burn balm on your light hand, and pick the duck up from the floor. Puck up the dick a sec’nd time, and wipe the burn balm from the duck with a tow’l.
9. Pour Piraaaat over your hand to get rid off the excess burn balm, and pick up the balm tube again from the floor.
10. Filst clean up aaallll the glass, and put the duck in d’ovven. Pick up the duck from the floor, and open first the oven before putting the duck in. Rub your head. Dlink another Piratt.
11. Slet up flom de bloor, and KICK the bac’n und’r ze cabinettt with y’r voot.
12. Try to get up again, change y’r kind and stay where y’rat ‘njoying yo’ Praat. Dlink frrrrom the bottl’ coss glass is tooooooo far away, and bloken anyway.
13. Shut the oven down, close your eyes and fall asleep.

The day after.
In the late afternoon cut the duck with the silver knifes, and eat it with lemons and mayo. The rest of the afternoon, clean up all the mess in the kitchen, don’t forget the floor and the ceiling. Bring all the glass into the recycle bin, and take a few more tylenol pills.